


Better to have loved

by sightsoblind



Series: Finished Works [12]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drabble, F/M, Gen, Gift Fic, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Intentionally ambiguous gender, M/M, One Shot, Other, Post-Dragon Age II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sightsoblind/pseuds/sightsoblind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke will never forgive Sebastian for what he made her choose between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better to have loved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mywordsflyup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywordsflyup/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Last Three Years](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3475175) by [mywordsflyup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywordsflyup/pseuds/mywordsflyup). 



> I went to comment on The Last Three Years again and found the first thought was the beginning of a story of its own. Due to the massive amount of m!Hawke/Anders love vs my preference for f!Hawke/Anders love Hawke has no stated gender to let you fill as you like.

"For it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." Those words drifted across Hawke's mind in the dark of night staring up at the sky. It had been to stop another war. There were already too many raging. Hawke would never forgive Sebastian for that. At the same time it felt a bit like putting down Karl. Had Anders not been lost for longer than any should care to think. Justice had merged with him fully taking both man and spirit and killing them in the process. He had become vengeance. What hurt the most was that the thing that he had become, no, the thing that had stolen him, had used their love to achieve its ends. It had been too much and Hawke had pushed them away one after the next. Aveline had a city to run being the last figure of authority in the city so that was as simple as leaving. Merrill had chosen blood magic over friendship. Varric saw the logic and reason and went his own way to lead those that would seek the Champion away. Carver still with the Wardens. Fenris and Isabella were harder and easier both. They asked nothing. Isabella only wanted to sail and Fenris would not stop his guardianship. They all shared a single room and a single bed in the Captain's quarters. It was strangely like being back in Lothering again with Bethany and Carver. Fenris complained about cold feet and Isabella made a show of sleeping against the wall going to bed after the others and waking before. She seemed to make a game of how many places she could touch before one or the other slapped her for her roaming hands. It was just enough to distract from empty arms as well as empty hearts.

"You should not be laying on the dock like that. You are going to get wet."

"I'm on a ship Fenris. I am going to get wet one way or another." Hawke took a deep breath. "Did I do the right thing? Should I have run and let Sebastian burn Kirkwall."

"I am not the one to answer that. Perhaps you should ask those still there. The merchants and shop keepers. The children and refugees without anywhere else to go."

Hawke nodded and thought back to that day. Anders knelt waiting for the decision of his fate. The others had been fairly divided Varric not even offering a bent one way or the other. But Sebastian, he demanded Anders death. Kill him or I will bring an army to Kirkwall to hunt him down. I will burn the city to the ground to find him. Anders had even asked begged. He had lost control. He had lost his friend to the perversion of his hatred. Knife at his throat he had told Hawke _'I'm glad its you.'  
_

Hawke on the other hand was not glad. Hawke wanted to scream and rage and cry but people needed the Champion. Innocent mages would still suffer.

Still covered in the blood of their lover and the Knight Commander with the blood of Orsino and untold mages and Templars soaked into the Robes of the Champion Hawke turned on Sebastian. _'You should go. Now. Because I swear if I e_ _ver see you_ _I will end you. I will paint the city with your blood.'  
_

"Hawke. If you don't come to bed Isabella will only have me to grope."

"I'm coming. Fenris?"

"Yes Hawke?"

"Are we sailing into Starkhaven waters."

"It's possible. Isabella may think putting a knife into Sebastian might get you to smile again. She says she misses it."

"You can't be serious."

"She told the cook to make sure the Broody one ate. She nearly fell over the railing when he asked which of us she meant."

"Fine, Did I ever tell you about the time Mother found Isabella passed out naked and drunk in Orana's bed. Orana had slept in the pantry but mother had no way of knowing..."

Isabella smiled listening to the friends laughing it had been too long. But if they were laughing maybe just maybe she could get under some clothes tonight on her way into bed.


End file.
